Cruel lady asks coworker if she's gained weight after she lost 70 pounds, gets offended when she calls that comment snarky: 'I'm sorry if your fishing for compliments strategy didn't work on me'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Sep 24, 2024 1:00 PM EDT

There are a lot of social rules in place about when, where, and how you can comment on somebody's weight. A general rule of thumb is that it's impolite to point out if someone has gained weight, but it's usually acceptable to compliment someone on losing it. Even positively mentioning weight loss can be a sticky situation. So many people who have lost a ton of weight have reported that they get treated so much better post-weight loss, it makes them incredibly sad for their past self who was just as worthy of respect as their thinner self. 

Whether you think we should never comment on others' weight or praise anybody who loses it, you will be alarmed by the behavior of the woman in this story. When her coworker, who recently lost 70 pounds, gets complimented by her sister-in-law about her progress, she says outright that she's gained a couple of pounds.

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    via LinkedIn Sales Solutions

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    AITA for calling a coworker snarky when she said I gained weight?
    via u/LowProfessional9399
  • 03
    1 (27F) started taking weight-loss meds this year - I wasnt really obese, but I was very overweight for quite a while. Since then, I lost about 70 pounds, started working out and really improved my mental health and self steem. Last week I went for lunch with a coworker and bumped into my SIL, who knew about my weight loss but didnt see me in person since I started the process. She congratulated me on it and went about her day.
    via u/LowProfessional9399
  • 04
    My coworker asked be what she was congratulating me on, and I said that it was about my weight loss, to which she replied "Oh she was being polite then! Cause I think you actually gained a few pounds recently, didnt you?" - that obviously made me confused lol and said it was a bit snarky to say something like that (even if I actually had gained weight, which I didnt, I dont think it's a polite comment at all), my coworker finished with "Well Im sorry if your fishing for compliments strategy didn
    via u/LowProfessional9399
  • 05
    Im very very confused about this because even though she isnt my best friend or anything, we usually hang out at lunch or coffee breaks and get along really well, maybe I offended her telling her it was snarky??? AITA?
    via u/LowProfessional9399
  • 06
    Square-Minimum-6042 • 23h ago ⚫ Let me guess, coworker is chubby and feels threatened by your weight loss.
    via u/Square-Minimum-6042
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    LowProfessional9399 OP 23h ago she has a similar body type to the one I have now, maybe she just thought of me as a safe fat-friend and doesnt like the fact she can no longer look skinnier by comparison?
    via u/LowProfessional9399
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    autisticDIL ⚫23h ago • call her out on it and tell her to stop projecting her insecurities onto you cause it isnt a good look
    via u/autisticDIL
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    Tight_Jaguar_3881 • 22h ago • I wou d never talk to her again unless I had to for work. She was nasty and mean
    via u/Tight_Jaguar_3881
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    user18name 19h ago. Don't call her out. She's a work "friend" if you call her out she might take it to management and that a mess in a half to deal with. Just distance yourself and move on.
    via u/user18name
  • 11
    QuiteAlmostNotABot 15h ago. Or gives HR a heads up about what happened, just recounting this interaction and saying it made you uneasy. I'm always as distant as politely possible with coworkers. I like them, I will go to their afterworks, I won't go to their weddings and I sure as discuss anything health wise. won't
    via u/QuiteAlmostNotABot
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    VioletReaver • 18h ago • I've been your coworker before. Ughhh I want to cringe my way right into a grave. Thankfully I was never snarky directly to people, but I would do this about people who I didn't know closely. It's an eating disorder mindset. Not saying your coworker has one, but she's got the requisite mindset. I know this because she's paying way too much attention to you. When I was in my worst phase, I was aware of everything everyone else was doing. I knew which of my classmates walk
    via u/VioletReaver
  • 13
    It's an obsession, and there's only so much obsessing you can do over your own diet, especially if you're not eating. You need to obsess in a way that fuels the disordered behaviors without thinking about what you could be eating. Knowing that you're eating less than someone produces a feeling of euphoria and superiority.
    via u/VioletReaver
  • 14
    Essentially I become an when i relapse into my ED. But the key thing here is I'm acting insane and thus I will be the one viewed poorly. Nobody is going to overhear your interaction with that coworker and think you're the AH, because they're way to busy reeling from the fact your coworker just made a derogatory comment on your body. Nobody else not obsessing over this is even going to notice your weight unless you're making dramatic changes. Just step away from the dumpster fire. You can't help
    via u/VioletReaver
  • 15
    owls and cardinals • 23h ago NTA. Your coworker seems pretty unhinged. Yes, her first comment was out of line and unnecessary, and flat out . Her second comment exposed some obvious resentment she has towards you with the weightloss...suggesting she thinks you've been fishing for compliments (perhaps around the office). To me, then, this was not a slip of the tongue or a comment she didn't realize was , it actually relates to feelings of animosity that she has towards you. That makes her toxic a
    via u/owls_and_cardinals
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    Scenarioing 23h ago • "Well Im sorry if your fishing for compliments strategy didnt work on me" ---The question is irrational. She's the one that ASKED YOU for an explanation of why you were congratulated. So how could you be fishing for anything? I suspect she knew, harbors jealousy or something and found a set up so she would have an excuse to insult you. NTA.
    via u/Scenarioing
  • 17
    ssccrs • 23h ago • Nta, your response was rather tame. My first thought was that your coworker was jealous but I am just spit balling.
    via u/ssccrs
  • 18
    DaMoFo29 22h ago • Was it sarcasm???????? 70 lbs is a lot! I feel like at that amount it's so noticeable that this comment should've been Ludacris mixed with funny?
    via u/DaMoFo29
  • 19
    faulty_rainbow • 22h ago • It's not like gaining a few pounds is actually visible lol. She just wanted to be an incredible achievement. probably feels threatened by your
    via u/faulty_rainbow

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weight loss terrible coworkers workplace-stories weight weight gain overweight work coworkers friends reddit story friend reddit thread Reddit coworker in the workplace
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